The parenting style has a great impact on the personality of a child. If you are following the wrong parenting style, you need to change it immediately because a wrong style can be responsible for making your child insecure, incapable, less-confident, and disobedient in the future. However, a good parenting style can make your child a confident, capable, loving, and successful person. Scientist coined 4 parenting styles, and researches show that authoritative parenting style is the best of them, and parents need to follow this style if they want their kid to achieve something in life.
Why is the authoritative style the best?
Research shows that out of all the parenting styles, the kids raised under the authoritative parenting style tend to become confident, independent, academically successful, well-mannered, and socially accepted. Moreover, such kids are less likely to show involvement in drug use and other unethical activities. Also, the depression and anxiety rate is found low in such kids as compared to kids raised under other styles. These are all the qualities that most parents wish to see in their children. However, the only authoritative parent has more chances of raising such children as compared to others.
What are the common characteristics of authoritative parents?
Authoritative parents highly focus on their children. They tend to expect more from their child, but at the same time, they provide full support and guidance that help their kids to meet their expectations. Authoritative parents tend to have the following common characteristics.
- They maintain a good communication level with their kids. They love to listen to their kids, so they can understand their feelings, emotions, and thoughts.
- Such parents do a lot of effort to enforce good behaviour in their kids. They use a positive reinforcement strategy. Whenever their kids behave well, they praise them and even reward them for their behaviour.
- They don’t want their kids to become ill-mannered, that’s why they set up some rules for their kids while keeping their kids’ opinions in their mind. However, they make sure that they are in charge, that’s why kids have to follow their rules.
- They are very loving, caring, and protective towards their children.
- If they see any behavioural problem in their child, they’ll do anything to eliminate that problem.
How to change your parenting style?
As it is proven from studies that authoritative parenting is the best parenting style. If you are following another parenting style till now and want to change your style, you don’t need to worry anymore. It’s never too late. We have some tips for you that will help you change your parenting style and become an authoritative parent.
Teach your kids to deal with their emotions
It’s normal if your kid cries or feels upset sometimes, the main thing which matters is how you deal with it. Emotions are natural that stay with us for our entire life. However, we can work on our behaviour to deal with those emotions. That’s why you need to teach your kid the ways to deal with those emotions. Whenever, you see your kids sad or crying again, sit next to them and say” Hey, don’t get upset, it’s not a big deal. Your words will give them huge comfort, and with time they will learn to act properly on these emotions.
Define clear rules
Authoritative parents define some rules to correct their kids’ behaviours. However, these rules are supported by logic. That’s how your kid will learn the purpose of those rules and will love to follow them. For example, there should be a fixed time to sleep, eat, screen time, and playing time.
The worst ways to tell your kids:
- Go to sleep right now.
- You have to eat dinner because I said so
- You are not allowed to watch TV anymore
- Go and play outside, right now.
- Go and take shower right now.
The Good ways to tell your kids:
- Dear, it’s time to sleep, sleeping at a proper time will help you and your body grow faster.
- It’s time to eat. It will help you stay strong and healthy.
- One hour screentime is enough for a day. Watching longer than that will affect your eyesight.
- Go and play, it will make you relax, and help you stay fit and energetic.
- Taking a shower daily is necessary, it makes us hygienic. Nobody loves to talk with an unhygienic person.
Warn your kids on rule violation
Kids make mistakes and sometimes violate the rule. You have to warn them of violation, so they don’t violate next time. Your kid should know the consequences of rule violations. Warn your kid only one time, and next time act upon it. Giving warnings, again and again, will make them think that nothing’s going to happen in another violation, which can make them ill-mannered, and they won’t listen to you easily.
For example, if you have decided on one hour of screen time a day, you should tell your kids to not watch more than one hour. If they watch more than that, you won’t allow them to watch TV the next day. If they watch more than that, you have to stop watching the TV the next day, so they should know that whatever you say you mean it. This will make your kid follow your rules.
Positive reinforcement is a globally accepted technique to encourage good behaviour in someone. This technique is also proven in kids, as found in this research. You can apply this technique to your kid as well. We are not saying you to start buying luxury gifts for your kid every day. Instead, you can give any small thing they like on their good behaviour. Words of appreciation also play an important role in raising a child’s morale.
For example, if you want your kid to clean their room. You can take them to a playground every time they clean their room without asking. It will help them to learn that it’s good behaviour, they will consider it as their success and will try to get a reward every time by cleaning the room.
If you want your kid to sleep on time, you can tell them a story every time they go to bed at a fixed time. Similarly, you can decide rewards for every behaviour you want to improve in your child. There are several behaviours you need to improve in your child, following are the few examples:
- Play and behave nicely with siblings
- Performing good in sports
- Become a good friend
- Showing their good effort in challenging tasks
- Personal hygiene
- Reacting well on disagreement or disappointment
Let your kid make decisions from few choices
Giving your kid complete freedom on taking their own decisions is not a good idea. However, you can offer them few choices and let them choose from those few choices. It will help your kid make a good decision because they’ll choose from your already decided good choices. Also, it will help them prepare for making bigger decisions in the future.
Prepare them for success
Authoritative parents never leave their children alone. They expect high from their child and help them to meet those expectations through guidance and support. Keep an eye on your children, make a plan for them. Make a list of short-term goals that will help them achieve their vision. Whenever, you find your kid having a hard time, help them to get through it. While helping your kid, make sure you are just guiding your kid, and they are completing their tasks themselves. Don’t do your kids’ tasks on their behalf because that’s how your kid will start relying on you. You have to make them independent, and if the kids are doing chores themselves, they will become independent.
Be a good role model
Remember, children, learn from actions. The way you present yourself in front of your kids, they will become like that. That’s why you have to be very careful. Don’t think that only instructions are enough for them to learn. Being a good role model is an important part of parenting style.
For example, if you want your kids to sleep early, then you have to sleep early as well. If you want your kids to become confident, you have to present yourself as a confident parent in front of your child. Even if you are not confident about something, at least behave confidently. Similarly, if you don’t want your kid to have anger issues in the future, you have to stay calm in front of your child.
Spend quality time with your kids
Spending quality time with your kids should be part of your parenting style. That’s the time when you understand your kid’s emotions, needs, and problems. It also helps to create a strong bond between you and your kids. You can play different games with your kid or spend at least 1 hour a day talking with your kid.
Parenting styles are really important as children’s future personalities highly depend on them. That’s why it is really important to follow the right parenting style. According to researchers, authoritative parenting is considered the best parenting style because provides more positive outcomes than others. If you are following the other parenting style at the moment, then don’t worry because this guide will help you change your style and raising confident, successful, and happy kids.